Anger, anger, anger...

I'm tired of being mad with everyone. I know that i am able forgive people but with all the drama and anger going around and im stuck in between i feel like i cant breathe. I cant even think straight or thoroughly now.

What happened was.....I was responsible to buy some movie tickets for my friends but at that time i was facing some financial problem and i had to call and hunt them like some loan shark. Im not entirely mad at them really, i was just mad at the situation which made me didnt buy the tickets at all. In ANOTHER issue, i was quite mad at F coz he made a comment abt me that was deeply hurtful. I have known him for years, even though he may have meant it as a joke (which i dont think so) but when a close friend made a hurtful comment abt u it really hit straight to the heart and made me think.

Usually i dont care what people think or say but he is one of my close friend and we hang out almost every night, of coz i do consider the comment that he made abt me. Furthermore, a person i know and met recently made a comment abt me to my friends that is almost similar to what F made which really really made me think at that time. Am I really like that coz i dont realize it AT ALL. Who knows urself better than u rite? But with all the claims people make it really made me think am i so in LOVE with myself that i didnt realize i acted the way that they claim so.

Recently also, F claim that just bcoz i'm mad at him i 'tarik muke' with the other guys bcoz of the movie tickets issue. That wasnt the reason at all, not everything is about u, F. The world doesnt revolves only on u. Just so u know it wasnt bcoz im mad at u that the ticket issue went wrong. I hv my own life, other friends, family and my own personal issue too eventhough i am not studying or working.

Sometimes i think my friends take me for granted, i dont entirely blame them coz we r humans and sometimes we do take some things for granted and we dont realize it even myself. But i just think it would be nice that the person who responsible to organize an outing or movie night wasnt me. They cant always depend on me coz im not going to be with them forever. I mean i might die tomorrow, or next year only god knows when.