Without a word..

I should've known about it
I shouldn't have tricked myself
I should not have fell into
such a deep hole made up of lies
And yet, here I stand without you right here

I wish I had ran away
I wish I had ignored it
I wish I had never saw
I wish that I had never known
So that I would not hurt like this today

Without a word, you showed me what love was like
Without a word, I gladly fell for your act
I did not step back to
consider what you want
And now I'm left without a word

Without a word, you left this love feeling lost
Without a word, you have changed its meaning
I used to wish on stars
for you and me
But then you left me dangling, so
Now I'm lost without words

All my emotions are gone
All of them gone `cept for one
All I feel now is the pain
Of seeing you discard my love
Without another second to rethink it

Without a word, you showed me what love was like
Without a word, I gladly fell for your act
I did not step back to
consider what you want
And now I'm left without a word

Without a word, you left this love feeling lost
Without a word, you have changed its meaning
I used to wish on stars
for you and me
But then you left me dangling, so..

Without a word, my tears keep on falling down
Without a word, my heart keeps on getting torn

Fitness & Health :) + Movies = current LIFE

Hey guys, I'm back again. Sorry i couldnt update like i used to as you all may know i currently have no possession of a laptop or computer at the moment. I only get a chance to use the comp when im working. Oh well, a lot of things have been going on lately. hehe. Let me give a quickie update rather than put in a long dragging story where i always talk too much and some of the things that u dont even care about. Tee hee.. Anyways, early of this month i have been thinking to join the gym and guess what?? I actually DID...!!!! Muahahaha. I guess rather than sitting my butt off when im work or at home and gain some weight i think its better for me to go do something bout my health & fitness. So, i went to....

@ The Curve and joined on the spot. Plus, i think its a great way to help me get away sometimes from all of the dramas in my life plus it benefits me to be healthier and fitter me. Muahahahaha. So far i have loose a few pounds since i started beggining of May. Hopefully this will keep on going till i achieve my goal. Yeah baby!!!

I finally got my hands on Gossip Girl Season 3 DVD Boxset. Woohooo...!!! To those who already have watched it what did u think about the ending?? Satisfying or a total BLOW?? MY Chuck Bass have a great story for you and some surprises are lineup for whom havent watched it yet. Get your hands on it quickly!!!!

 

 I havent been to the movies as often i used to. Sigh. Busy, busy, busy. I think i am overloading work into myself-lah. Haha. Even now i seldom hangout with my friends, i hope they understand. No wonder people think i can survive on m own without marriage but i always need my friends, i like having friends. Haha. Anyways, watched Prince of Persia yesterday....

TOTAL HOTNESS...!!!!!!!! Countless time i said the word 'HOT' and 'HANDSOME' in the cinema yesterday and my guy friend had to endure me drooling over him. Hello!!! I mean look at him isnt he just fine?? Rawrrrr...!!

See what i mean?? Hello abs...!! Hello muscular hands...!! Grrrr...!! Haha. Ok, i think i need help. Mama need some sugar bebeh :P

I think thats enough of me making a fool of myself, again!! Haha. Oh yeah, i'm so excited for next week upcoming movie...Drum roll please...

Sex & the City 2...!!! The shoes, the Manolos, the Jimmy Choos, the clothes, the Prada.... Ahhhhh!!!
Needless to say i am superbly undeniably excited for this movie. Hehe.

Type to u later
xOXo

Miserable At Best

Boy, don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting, go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
I know she's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
while across the room, she stares
I bet you get the nerve to walk the floor
And ask the girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or for you to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

'Cause I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
But I need it

So, let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
I know she's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
while across the room, she stares
I bet you get the nerve to walk the floor
And the my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or for you to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best


And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
Been three whole days since I've had sleep
'Cause I dream of her lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

So let's not pretend that you're alone tonight
I know she's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
while across the room, she stares
I bet you get the nerve to walk the floor
And ask the girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or for you to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you
But without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you but
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best

formspring.me

Got question?? http://formspring.me/liyanashazreen

when I grow up i wanna be a..............GYPSY!!

BROKE MY HEART
Down the road
Spend the weekend
Sewing the pieces back on

Crayons and dolls pass me by
Walking gets too boring
When you learn how to FLY
 

Not the homecoming kind
Take the top off
And who knows what you might find
 

Won't confess all my sins
You can bet I'll try it
But YOU can't always win

'Cause I'm a gypsy
Are you coming with me?
I might steal your clothes
And wear them if they fit me
I never made agreements
Just like a gypsy
And I WON'T BACK DOWN
'Cause life's already bit me
And I won't CRY
I'm too young to die
If you're gonna QUIT me
'Cause I'm a gypsy

I can't hide
what I've done
Scars remind me
Of just how far that I've come
To whom it may concern
Only run with scissors
When you want to get hurt

'Cause I'm a gypsy
Are you coming with me?
I might steal your clothes
And wear them if they fit me
I never made agreements
Just like a gypsy
And I WON'T BACK DOWN
'Cause life's already bit me
And I won't CRY
I'm too young to die
If you're gonna QUIT me
'Cause I'm a gypsy

I said hey you
You're no fool
If you say 'NO'
Ain't it just the way life goes?
People fear what they don't know

Come along for the ride (Oh yeah)
Come along for the ride (ooohhh)
'Cause I'm a gypsy
Are you coming with me?
I might steal your clothes
And wear them if they fit me
I never made agreements
Just like a gypsy
And I WON'T BACK DOWN
'Cause life's already bit me
And I won't CRY
I'm too young to die
If you're gonna QUIT me

'Cause I'm a GYPSY

Sang Mantan oh Sang Mantan....

Anger, anger, anger...

I'm tired of being mad with everyone. I know that i am able forgive people but with all the drama and anger going around and im stuck in between i feel like i cant breathe. I cant even think straight or thoroughly now.

What happened was.....I was responsible to buy some movie tickets for my friends but at that time i was facing some financial problem and i had to call and hunt them like some loan shark. Im not entirely mad at them really, i was just mad at the situation which made me didnt buy the tickets at all. In ANOTHER issue, i was quite mad at F coz he made a comment abt me that was deeply hurtful. I have known him for years, even though he may have meant it as a joke (which i dont think so) but when a close friend made a hurtful comment abt u it really hit straight to the heart and made me think.

Usually i dont care what people think or say but he is one of my close friend and we hang out almost every night, of coz i do consider the comment that he made abt me. Furthermore, a person i know and met recently made a comment abt me to my friends that is almost similar to what F made which really really made me think at that time. Am I really like that coz i dont realize it AT ALL. Who knows urself better than u rite? But with all the claims people make it really made me think am i so in LOVE with myself that i didnt realize i acted the way that they claim so.

Recently also, F claim that just bcoz i'm mad at him i 'tarik muke' with the other guys bcoz of the movie tickets issue. That wasnt the reason at all, not everything is about u, F. The world doesnt revolves only on u. Just so u know it wasnt bcoz im mad at u that the ticket issue went wrong. I hv my own life, other friends, family and my own personal issue too eventhough i am not studying or working.

Sometimes i think my friends take me for granted, i dont entirely blame them coz we r humans and sometimes we do take some things for granted and we dont realize it even myself. But i just think it would be nice that the person who responsible to organize an outing or movie night wasnt me. They cant always depend on me coz im not going to be with them forever. I mean i might die tomorrow, or next year only god knows when.

Lady Gaga- Telephone ;)

THE video is finally here y'all!! I've been waiting for this vid for like months when they started shooting it.
Its not just a music video, its Lady Gaga, Beyonce, and a REVOLUTION i tell ya. Yeap, thats what i said a revolution :)

I am warning you that some of the content in this video might not be suitable for kids or underage (Pfttt..)
If you gonna sneak make sure that ur parents r not around, double check it. Make sure u guys see it before reading my comments below the vid. Coz it will definitely contain spoilers.

LET'S MAKE A SANDWICH :)



My thoughts:
Holy Baloney, there is a prison for bitches man. Would i survive in there if i was thrown into the Bitch Prison. Haha. Anyways, she was stripped (literally) and the she-man guards was commenting that she has no dick. I guess the rumour of her being a man is so out of proportion. Seriously, she is not a man!!! I mean u can SEE that in the vid rite?? Damn, those glasses with a bunch of lit cigarettes is a definitely WTF moment for me. She is SO out of this world man, and me LOVE!! BTW, who is the girl whom she hangs out with when they were in a large cell. It looks like her really, twin?? Sister maybe?? Or its HER?? Seriously, who the hell is that?? Plus, i have the same Rayban Clubmaster shades she's wearing only mine is in white. After 3 minutes, the song finally started. Damn! That took a while rite?? After that, she was walking through the alley of the cells with some bunch of girls with some dance moves, I'm digging it, man!! Haha. The yellow tape of crime scene was the only thing she wore and posing in her cell. Damn Girl, thats HOT!! Did you guys notice the Micheal Jackson pose before she went out the prison coz HONEY B bailed her out?? A tribute to the King, i guess. Then, Gaga stepped in the Pussy Wagon. Crap!! Gotta have my own Pussy Wagon, i loike!!! Did anyone notice that Beyonce is so bad in acting, eventhough it was just a few lines but it was SOOOO horrible. Gues u shud just stick to singing, Honey B. They drove up to a Diner in the middle of nowhere where logically shouldn't be crowded but it is a music vid, anything possible. Then came out "lets make sandwich" so suddenly. Haha. Thats hot too!! They came to the diner just to kill Honey B's boyfriend who's apparently is a Mother-F. Haha. Tyrese Gibson is hot man!! Anyway, did u guys notice that the dance they did in the diner was similar to Micheal Jakcson's Thriller?? Woah, there is definitely a lot of tribute to the King going on in this music vid. Go Gaga!! They ended up killing all of the people in the diner, yeah, that totally made sense(Wha-What??) After, they stepped into to PUSSY WAGON and the police r looking for them and decided to go FAR FAR away. There's big GIRL POWER going on here seriously. Haha. There's going to be a continuation. Damn!! So excited about it :)

I see your True Colours..

There was this one day after me and some of my frens plus my lil bro watched Alice in Wonderland in 3D!! It was awesome, i totally loved it!! I might be biased in rating this movie coz i love Tim Burton's work!! I give it a 4 out of 5. Seriously, this movie in 3D does make a difference!! Ok, back to my story, got side tracked again. Hahaha. Like thats a surprise.

Anyways, we were hanging out after the movie and try and guess what they were discuccing about?? Bout me being a klutz, forgetful and how it made them laugh everytime. Grrr... One of my friend even brought up the story that my parents is just the same as me, as in klutz and forgetful. First incident, my mom was about to head out for some business and she was so caught up in the moment and she was like

"Where's my phone?? What did i forget?? Where did i put my phone??!!"

Try and guess where her phone is?? It doesn't take a scientist to figure it out, really. She was holding it in her HAND!! That kind of thing does happen to me sometimes, ok, maybe not sometimes but most of the time. Haha. There's this one time when I was wondering where did I misplaced my shades whereas it was on my head the whole time. Sigh. Plus, I always forget where I place the parking ticket when going out. Sigh. I even forgot to close the window trunk of the hilux the other day and it was in the basement carpark . Sigh. Haha. Oh well, this is another prove that they are my parents coz of our forgetfulness and klutzness. Oh, not forgetting absent minded at times. Haha.

Sometimes I do wonder what would it b like if I am at the age of 80 if i'm like this at around 20s. Brrrrrr.... That image and idea really brings me to chill. Haha. Too early to have that thought now.

My friends also add that when do I misplaced something and I will get all caught up in it and loosing my mood. After that was past I would act like all innocent and as if like nothing went wrong or happen. Seriously, I do not even notice that at all before they mention it . I mean why would I notice coz I was just being myself and not being sorry for it bebeh. Haha.

I mean I am forgetful, I mean the worst forgetful person u might ever know or met, I am such a klutz coz I can even loose balance when I wear a slipper or even barefoot. But that's all part of my charm (hopefully. haha) and it is a part of me. It's just who I am, I'm just being myself after all :)

Adapted from the lyrics of Cyndi Lauper's song, True Colours,
"Your true colours are beautiful like a rainbow "

I'll Stand By You :)

The CARETAKER get sick too...

Hey guys, just dropping by here eventhough im sick. The things i do just for ur reading pleasure. Haha. Gile perasan.. Anyways, i AM sick yo... That day i got an infected eye and now this. Sigh. I rarely get sick, if i have a fever pon it would be a mild one. Anyways, i am stuck with a really2 bad fever, diorrhea (i think i spell it correctly), migraine and nausea. Feel like i could vomit at anytime and i have to stay close to a bathroom at all time, phm2 jela coz i hv diorrhea kn.

The upwards of being sick is u have an excuse for not showing up to class or work. You get special treatment and attention from people around you. You get to lay in bed, watch television or movies all day long. If u have that special some1, he can buy porridge and some medicine and deliver it to u. Awww... How sweet would that be eh??
While the downwards of being sick is having to put up with the pain. In my case i only get to enjoy the downwards of being sick. This is coz i dun have class or a job currently, i was all alone at home today, i was stuck in bed coz my body was in so much pain and i dont have a special some1. Damn, even i feel sorry for myself. Gile pathetic... Tsk tsk tsk.

Does this mean that i have to search for a partner now just so that i can enjoy of getting special treatment when im sick? Haha. I mean it doesnt hurt to get a little TLC rite?? Luckily i have my guys to look out for me eventhough they did not pull through this time but im sure they will in the future, they BETTER be!! The CARETAKER get sick too guys, im no Superwoman lah. I've been looking out for u guys now its ur turn. Haha. LOVE U GUYS!!

TAKING CHANCES

Take a chance :)

How do u Stop Loving Someone??

How do you stop loving someone??
That is my question.


Can u stop loving someone? Is it actually possible? People say that when time passes u by the love of someone who left will eventually be forgotten or dissapear. But in reality, even if we get over the feeling love of someone, in the corners of our heart that feeling will always be there especially if it is our first love. I, myself am trying to figure out what love actually mean and it is definitely complicated and wonderful at the same time. I cant imagine myself marrying someone, really. I dun even intend to get marry too, my love life does not exist, i repeat DO NOT EXIST!! Well, for one thing i am such a workaholic i dun even bother to try to find a relationship. Some people believe that destiny will happen, or as the old people's saying 'sume org ade jodoh'. Do u guys know what destiny mean actually?? Destiny is the bridge u build to ur love one. If u guys have watched My Sassy Girl (the english version, not korean) u might understand this. Most people do believe that destiny is written and things happen for a reason coz it is meant to be but few do believe that u are ur own destiny. You can decide ur own destiny actually, ur life is in ur hands.

After this, i am determine to take control of my life and make the most out of it. I still havent decided what to do exactly, i am a very confused and complicated girl. Hahahaha. This is just a random post of my thoughts for ur reading pleasure. Drop by again soon...

Type to u later.
xOXo

Spread the Love!!

Love is wonderful
Love is chemistry
Love is priceless
Love is everywhere
Love is unlimited
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.




Love is Taylor Lautner
Love is Chuck Bass
Love is Bradley Cooper
Haha. I know i am pathetic sometimes. Getting back to my point..




.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Love is everything
Love is thrilling
Love is sweet
Love is hurtful
Love is confusing
Love is complicated
Love is anything u want it to be...

To all my single ladies out there lets celebrate the love of our single lives!! Woo-Hoo.

Happy V-Day!!

Type to u later.
XoxO

RED EYES!!

Hey guys, sorry i couldnt keep posting as frequently like last month. I have been keeping myself busy with some projects and other people's projects too. Haha. The things i do for my friends sometimes seem so over board. Nevertheless, i do it OUT OF LOVE for u guys. That's  right i love you guys. hahahaha.

Before i go any further i have to tell u guys that I was sick, oh well not sick like fever or flu but i got an infected eye. And who i got it from, no other that Harit, my Kak Long tu. This is all ur fault Harit, it was bad enough til i had to meet up with the doc. The funny thing is when the doc saw my eyes,

he asked "are u stone??"

i was like" erm...no.." in my head i was thinking..."why would he think that i'm stoned?? does my face looks like i smoke weed??"

Luckily, he was just joking around, I THINK. Oh, and here's a picture of it when i woke up the second day

The left eye is worst than the right eye but both of it is actually red. Let me show u a close up of the left eye. Be prepared ppl...Jeng3...

This was the second day condition. I forgot to take a picture when i got this and it was definitely red-er than this. Sigh. The result of this eye infection lead me not to head to BBQ party on Friday. Too bad for me-lah but i wouldnt want my friends to get this infected eyes as it is highly contagious, i will be the target to blame after all if they caught it. the doc even told me to wear sunglasses all the time. I actually DID even in my own home coz i was scared that my nephew could caught it and i wore sunglasses one night cause i had to help out a friend to do his assignment. Oh well, so far nobody got infected by me. Thank God!!

BTW, the doc gave tons of medicine that even i cant pronounce clearly and seriously the medicine a.k.a drugs he gave me was dangerous. In dangerous i mean when u take it u will feel really2 sleepy and HIGH in sort of a way. Did the doc really think that i was a drug addict and plus he did asked me if i am stone?? Oh well, that is in all God's knowledge.

A lot of OMG and WTF moments after i took these pills. One of them is normal antibiotics, the other one for "Tahan sakit" it says so on the plastic. I was driving a car after i took my pills and i hit a divider with the side of the car, its pretty scratch but not that noticeable coz my mum havent said anything about it so far. I went to McD's drive-through and i did not even notice the place order machine. I mean the sign is quite big and it is in red and yellow, how could have i missed it?? I had to make another round again and my friends in the car was talking A LOT and i couldnt even remember what they said. I was totally blank, literally an air head!! Haha.

Oh well, thats it from me for now

Type to ya later!!

xOXo

Cute!!! Very Mey-Choi!!!

Oooooo... They r too cute and impossible to resist oke?? I went to a fitting session near Bangsar and we passed by a pet shop there and there is this Maltese breed PUPPY. It was too cute, so hyper, i wish i could bring it home straight away. It is too cute.... Cute-ness is all over it... Did i mention that it is super cute?? Haha. Let me show u a similar dog that i saw today....

MALTESE

Look at those cute little puppy's eyes. They are impossible to resist kan?? I have nothing against cats but i am more of a dog person than a cat person. I love cats too, they are awesome but i love dogs more. Haha. This might sound funny because i am not even able to have both of the animal as a pet especially the dog. If i was able to keep a cat as a pet i would already have but unfortunately i cant coz some of my family members have allergies to cats. Believe me, once i move out of the house i would like to have a pet. Arghhh..

They r too cute!!! Obviously i have to pick cat between these two adorable pets. I would take these types of cats into consideration as a pet and as a companion in my home... Hehehe. Perasan lbey ni...

SIAMESE CAT

OR

AMERICAN SHORT HAIR

When i saw how cute that puppy was i just couldnt resist of having a pet of my own. Haha. Feeling terlebey-lah today. Haha. Its for ur reading pleasure rite guys?? If u do not actually read the whole thing but at least u get to see cute pictures right?? Haha. Oh well, that is all for me.

Type to u later.

XoxO.

A Little bit Longer

Hey guys, 1st post for February!! Yipee!! Haha. I am seriously proud of myself coz i have been frequently posting to this blog and there r a few people who dropped by to read. Thank u guys for ur support. Appreciate it!

For the 1st post for February 2010 i wanna recap what have i reached so far this year and whats coming up. One of thing im proud of is i am able to post frequently to ur reading pleasure, which i have intended to do since last year. Another thing, i finished my studies. Yeay me!! Oh yeah, i definitely party HARD for January 2010 and some memories are kept close to me definitely. A big THANKS to all of my frens who made wonderful memories with me.

However, its already the second month of this year and i dont have a future figured out til now. Im not working, not studying and didnt even apply for both. Damn, im such a LOSER. The thing is i am so lost in this post-grad situation. I totally cant make up my mind til now. I am totally scared that im going to mess up my life with one wrong decision. HELP!! Hopefully i am able to make good choices with His guidance. AMIN....

The are a few things to look forward to this month also. A dear friend of mine is coming home for the chinese new year holidays. I miss him soooo much and cant wait to lepak with him like we used to do. Even though, he left without saying goodbye :'( i was definitely hurt. Oh well, at least he's coming back rite, even if its temporary. Looking forward to it!! Tee hee...

Oh yeah, Valentine's Day is coming... I personally dun have any problems with people who celebrate it but i just wanna ask those people why bother wait for February 14 to celebrate their LOVE. Everyday can be a Valentine's Day if u want it to be ;)
I have never celebrated Valentine's Day coz for one thing i have no one to celebr8 it with at this time of the year and like i said b4 do u need to wait for Feb 14?? Haha.

Type to u later.
XoxO

GUYS, GUYS, GUYS...

Valentine is coming!! To all of the dudes and studs out there. Stop figuring out what girls or women want PLEASE!!

To be honest girls want a lot of things and sometimes we don't even know what we want and cant even make up our minds in some situation especially in relationship and shopping. Haha.

Another thing sometimes you guys make one simple thing SO complicated. When we ask some space doesn't mean we are having another guy, it only means that we JUST WANT SOME SPACE!! For instance, i might say that i am an independent type and i LOVE my freedom and used to it already. I really cant handle if a guy who always want to control my every movement. SERIOUSLY guys, when u have a girlfriend it doesn't mean that she's ur property or belong to u. U cannot, i repeat CANNOT own a person!! And that also mean u cant control his or her every movement. If this happens someone is bound to lie and from my perspective this type of relationship wont sustain long.

Back to my point, some stuff is as simple as the sentence state. If we say we want some space, it just means we want some SPACE. Get it??

A little message to the people out there. Your partner isn't someone u own. In the words of Taylor Swift, 'You Belong WITH Me' not 'You Belong T0 Me'. I would like a kind of relationship where we will tell all of our stories, like a bestfriend and the dirty little secrets about ourselves will be out there. A partner is suppose to be the companion in our life.
Something for u guys to think about in the mood of valentine ;)

Type to u later
xOXo

My Animal Test Analysis

Here is my analysis:

1. A kind of person you will be attracted to in a real life situation is those who are unbridled and free.  (I love free spirits, they have their own perception of life and look things differently)
2. In the process of courtship, the approach that makes you feel irresistible is being creative, so you're not bored. (Process of courtship?? LOL. It is true that i get bored easily, i need some1 creative to be with me and certainly leave an impression)
3. The impression you'd like to give to your lover is loyal and faithful. (I think I am not the cheating type, hopefully)
4. One reason that would make you break up with your partner is his or her being ruthless, cold-blooded or ironic. (Urgh...Cold blooded? Who likes that?? Really?)
5. The kind of relationship you'd like to build with your partner is one where you can talk about everything and anything. No secrets are kept. (That does seem like an ideal relationship to me)
6. Would you commit adultery? Society and morality worry you. You wouldn't do anything wrong after marriage. (Wow..See?? I am not the cheating type after all)
7. About marriage, you think marriage is a precious thing. Once you get married, you'll treasure your partner very much. (Haha. The actual question is will i get married?)
8. About love, at this moment, you don't want to be tied by a steady relationship. You just want to flirt. (This is partly true, but i miss someone badly)

U guys wanna give this test a try? Click HERE

Hey guys, I was bored this time hence i just took some random personality test. This test just ask you to pick out your animal choice in a situation. Just a random post :)

Type to u later.

XoxO.

I am MISSING U, U & ONLY U

Dear boy,
I thought this was lost and long gone but...

Why did u leave?
Why did u have to go?
Why can't things be like it used to be?
Why don't u talk to me anymore?
Why don't u see me the way i see u?
Why do u have to be so far away?
Why can't u see me that i will always be here for u?
Why do i feel this way about u???
Why you??

I really2 miss our times that we SHARED together. I miss our SPECIAL moments. I miss our CRAZY moments. I miss that comfortable feeling when u sit NEXT TO ME in the car without any words at all. I miss the way u glide ur HAND through the wind in the car. I MISS talking to u. I miss LOOKING at u. I miss being ANGRY at u. I miss LAUGHING with u. I miss BEING with u.

I just miss u, u and only u.....♥

Wish you Were Here- Pink Floyd :'(

So, so you think you can tell 

Heaven from Hell,

Blue skys from pain.

Can you tell a green field

From a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade

Your heros for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange

A walk on part in the war

For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl,

Year after year,

Running over the same old ground.

What have we found?

The same old fears.

Wish you were here.

This song is able to make me cry every time :'(

Eeeeek....!!

Hey guys, a quickie update from me. Damn its already 4.30 am and I am still awake. My sleeping time is definitely messed up.

What have i been up to today? Woke up late, as usual. But then i had to wait for my brother to finish school coz apparently i have to take him to cut his hair  short. Sigh. I am a driver it seems. Another day is fine but i had to go to my UNI to apply for my transcript. Oh well, i had to wait till 4pm and I ended up picking him up from school coz apparently he "missed" the van. Of course, when he came inside the car the first thing topic that came out is his girls trouble. I don't even know what to say to him any more, if i do give out some advice does he actually listens to it?? Sigh. Hard being a consultant really, i mean how does a psychiatrist handles all of the patients craps.

Oh well, back to the story. We ended up at a restaurant at Section 7 to meet up with some friends after i got my hair cut. Haha. It wasn't planned but I only trimmed it a little coz my head is like a bush of wilderness. My hair is so damn thick, literally. Oh yeah, my brother cut his hair too. Finally a real short hair, not like the last time i bought him to the saloon. Sigh. What do little brothers would do without their awesome sister eh?? Haha. He was hungry so he ordered kuey teow goreng and french fries. I had to pick up my mom then drop her off to the store. Sigh. I am a true driver ain't i?? After i dropped my mom off i went back to the restaurant to get him and on the way home he ended up with this red rashes all over his hands and legs. My reaction was like

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...........

Yuckeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

Haha. The rashes started spreading coz he wont stop scratching it. Then i assumed it was the shrimp that was in the kuey teow he ate earlier but he said that he never had an allergic reaction to seafood before this. So, i had to run around Kota Damansara to find an available clinic just for him. Really li'l bro, what would u do without me?? Haha. We went in the doctor's room and he was being such a pussy when the doctor wanted to inject him with a needle. SERIOUSLY!! No matter how big of a man you are, my li'l bro you will still be scared of the NEEDLE!! Haha. Sigh. Gedix lebeh la my li'l brother nie. I think i was supposed to be a male and him the female. Something got mixed up somewhere. Kah Kah Kah....

After we went home, he straight went to sleep. Here's a pic of him sleeping....

He got a huge bed while i am still using the old and small one. Lucky prick!! Anak manje kn. What to do...
Hahahahahahaha.

Type to u later.
xOXo

Who's gonna catch me when i fall??

I was trying really hard not to post this emo shit but i just cant help it. I really really have to get this off my chest. I am having those kind of time. Not that time of the month (the red light) but the 'feeling lonely' time.
After i have finished my studies and doing nothing besides than eat, sleep till noon, hanging out and catching movies. It really made me think how pathetic i am and how my life seem so meaningless right now. I have no job, not even studying and cant make up my own damn mind. I just felt like a complete loser, i mean a REAL LOSER!!

Even though i still have my friends and still see them frequently I still feel 'alone'. Let me describe this feeling for you guys, when u hang out with ur friends or even surrounded by a lot of people have u guys ever felt so lonely like u r alone in that time and place and you cant even hear anyone talking like they seem so far away from you. I do, most of the time actually. It feels like im trapped inside my own damn world and no one is ever gonna give a damn, really.

My family has this MYOB motto from the beginning. Oh, MYOB means Mind Your Own Business. My parents are only home at night and i dont really spend that much quality time with my family. I am closest with my little brother and i just hope that i am a good sister to him only coz my family is messed up behind closed door. Everybody just dont mind and do their own business even though we live in the same roof. Things have gotten pretty quiet at home recently i mean it doesnt even feel like home unless im in my room though. If I am somewhere else, it feels like i am in an empty house. To be honest, i dont even know the people who lives inside this house. Maybe that is why when there is a chance for me to spend time with them i would pass coz i don't know how to do that and dont even know what to talk to them about. I know that my parents work coz they are supporting me and believe me i have had the pleasure of hearing that lecture a million times. But when i make an effort to redeem myself to them they just dont see it i guess. Some people say that family especially parents only sees our mistakes and wont care much about our success or achievement. Maybe this is a part for me to be stronger to face the world in the future. But i am blessed and thankful to Allah that i have them in my life in whatever way they are. I do love them...

Friends? I have my own theory own friends, dont ever get too attached to them or else something is bound to go wrong sooner or later. I mean its not wrong in doing just that but i have my own experience and if i am too attached to them they feel like i am their property (belong to them ONLY). Some people are like that and trust me i have experience it and it does not happened once. I mean i have my own damn life even though it is not that great right now but i still want some me time in my days and i dont mean only sleeping k? I think i am a good friend, am i?? Oh well, i try my best to be for each of them and be a good friend when it comes to that point. I have this friend who has troubles in his love life and he seems so lost and dont know what to do about his situation and i feel like crying when i saw him that way, it seems like his problem became mine. How i wish i could protect him from getting his heart broken but i cant and i do hope he will get out of this soon enough and survive it well. I BELIEVE in him. In another friend issue, it seems like i am not such a good friend. FYI, I am not the planner type, i only go with the flow. If it happens, then it does and if it doesnt, maybe another day. In the words of James Bond, tomorrow never dies. If you dont like the way of having me as a friend then why are you still being my friend I am sure you can find a new friend right? They are a lot of interesting people out there, seriously. Anyway, whatever kind of friends do u guys have im sure u love them rite? Even though, i feel like they are drifting away right now even though this kind of time has come i still love them no matter what. I had a pleasure of having a friend for almost 8 years now, u know who u r my dear. Haha. And not forgetting my guys which i have known for almost 5 years. I also have gain a lot of friends for these past 2 years and it is a lot of fun meeting new people and discover how crazy they are. There are also friends that i have lost through out my entire life. However, no matter what, these people and the memories i have shared with them i will always keep them near my heart and cherish them. To those who had a chance to be my friend at a time in your life, i had the pleasure of knowing you. Truly i am grateful...

After i have typed this in, its not that i hate my life, I just wanna live IT. I dont want to survive it, but LIVE MY LIFE. Haha. Does that makes sense? I have experience a lot through out my 20 years of life and i realize that i am truly blessed with what i have experience. I am thankful to Allah to give me a life.

Another element in my life that is not complete yet. The L word.... L O V E ! !  L'Amour L'amour... ( it also starts with L in another language. haha)
Sigh. I mean i do not look or hunt down for men (not even now, not ever)... I think i have never hunt down for men before, i mean i do look at guys and adore them from FAR only. The previous relationship in my life just happen and it totally wasnt planned. I mean how do you plan love rite? My confession? I might say that i never had a relationship with a guy which i am TRULY in love with him. I mean TRULY and DEEPLY. Sigh. Furthermore, I dont wanna get married, most of my friends know that but when we grow old and as my friends' lives move on who am I going to talk to? I mean it is nice to have the feeling that you have someone to talk to at the end of the day and xkan la u want to bother ur friends when they are preparing their kids for school, taking care of their babies and cater to their husband "needs". Haha. Get what i mean? LOL. Although, I think i will be happy without a man as long as i have my career. OMG. Im gonna be one of those women who is married to their career like Meryl Streep in Devil wears Prada. Hey that doesnt sound so bad though, it is almost awesome. Haha. Oh well, if i do find love i will be truly grateful but if i do not i will always have the one thing to be grateful for, LIFE and I can always love ALLAH.

WOW!! I am impressed that i am able to post this long man. Haha. This post is important coz i had an epiphany halfway typing it. LMAO. Anyways, i hope you guys had the pleasure of reading this post even if it is a bit emo-ish but i just had to let it out somewhere.

Type to u later.
XoxO

A Familiar Face....

Hey guys, I have loads of time in my hands lately that is why i am able to update you guys for 3straight days already. Haha. Aren't you guys proud of me. I'm sure you guys are. Thee hee...



Anyway,what have you guys been up to this week?? Me? I just have been out and spending money which i don,t earn any of it. Thank you Mama! ! Haha. I got a chance to catch Legion on Thursday and it was awesome. the guys who plays Micheal is a good actor actually it feels like he was meant to play that role. His voice, face i mean it suits him pretty well and brought up the character to life. I went with the guys and they were quite disappointed with the movies coz they expected loads of action would be in it. Heh... Guys rite?? They love Action and Comedy. Why cant they just appreciate Drama or Romance once in while. The next day, i was bored out of my mind and decided to catch a movie which happened unexpectedly and guess what movie i watched on Friday. Jeng Jeng...

TOOTH FAIRY ! ! Haha. It was definitely hilarious and Dwayne Johnson has gained his reputation as an actor in Game Plan and Tooth Fairy but is he only able to play main character and execute it finely in kids movie. Oh well, I enjoyed it nevertheless. At one point i laughed the first and LOUDLY too. I think i was the loudest who laughed in the cinema. Hehe. Oh well, he talked about being the best tooth fairy ever, how could u not laugh at that. Hehe.

After the Tooth Fairy movie, I went to meet up with Alia whom just came back from her "hulu" place as she calls it that and we just catch up on a few things. She said that its nice to see a familiar face. Haha. It is nice hanging out with her coz for one thing she's awesome and hanging out with her made me miss As a little bit less :'(. Oh yeah, Syaza was able to join us after her work shift ended and we all gave a quickie update about our lives. I find these kinds of situation so fascinating and i always keep these kinds of memories near me. I love getting to know and meet new people coz it is FUN. Especially if these people are interesting :)

If u guys read my post on Friday, I received good news from My UNI and finally i can start applying for work and not just glue my butt on the bed all the time. Hopefully this will turn up well. I still haven't decided on where to continue my studies and major in what also. I am so confused cant even make up my mind. I cant even make up my mind on what to order in a restaurant coz the people around me will give me ideas on what to eat especially Fariq. Haha. For now i would like to experience the work environment of journalism and broadcasting. I love broadcasting and i think I am able to do it too. I know i am able to succeed in journalism but not to sure if i love it that much. Sigh. I would really like to work in a fashion magazine like Marie Claire or Cleo as fashion is part of my passion too. However, i am so in love with music and would like to go into radio stations or music channels. Decisions, decisions....

I can't rush making these kinds of decision coz it will effect my whole future if i made the wrong choice. Furthermore, at one point I was thinking of taking Diploma in Music at Yamaha Music the other day. Damn, i am so messed up and easily influence. Oh well, my personality result did say I want to achieve as much as I can. I feel like i want it all. Can i have it all of it please?? I know i sound a bit greedy but work makes me happy especially it is my passion and interests.

I will dropping by soon enough. Type to ya later.

xOXo

We are the Champions!!

Hey guys!! Just a quickie update from my phone. Hehe. Hope u guys are doing fine.
Me?? Im awesome for now. I made a call this morning and it seems that my plea was granted. Yeay me!! Haha. Finally, my head is not gonna be stuck at UNI only. Hence, my next plan and strategies to a good life can take place in sometime in around 2 weeks. Hopefully things will look out for me. Wish me luck!!
I have been listening to Queen all night and 'We are the Champions' is playing over and over. I even sang so loudly in the car while i was on my way home. The car next beside me at a few trafik light tgk pelik je. Haha. Oh well, thats what i do when im feeling good.
K guys, till the next post.

Xoxo.

Redemption

I was moved by a story of a guy who auditioned for american idol in orlando. He auditioned coz he wanted to make his parents and family proud of him as a redemption of his mistake. That mistake was made when he was just 15 years old, he robbed a bank with a BB GUN and ended up in jail for it.
The feeling of letting ur parents down is definitely awful. I dun even know in what way to redeem myself to my parents.....

Get to Know Urself better! !

hey guys, i know it has been awhile since i updated my page. Been quite busy with holidays. Haha. Does that make sense?? Anyway, I came across this quiz and though of sharing it with u guys. Well, i took it and below are the results. I have written a few comments on each result. Haha.

From:http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

(People are naturally attracted to me?? Haha. Is that what has been happening?? Sweet?? OMG. That is so not me)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

(Its definitely true that i dont judge a book by its cover. Good looking people aren't necessarily my style?? But it is most of the time. Haha)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

(This is very true. Why would u share something with a person when u dun even know them)

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

(Flirt?? Seductively?? What??!! Admirers hanging off my arms?? Salah nie...)

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

(Btol Btol Btol...)

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy

(This is like a kinder version of saying that i am greedy. Haha. But it is true I DO want to achieve as much as i can)

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

(Confident? Yeke? I know that I am designated to do something great. Haha.)

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

(Wow. This is quite a bad trait for me-lah)

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve

(Mature?? Honest?? Good advice?? Haha. Really?? I am so flattered even though it is just on a screen and not someone saying it to me.)

This will be a brief post for now. I will post some pictures from my new year trip which i have been waiting for like almost a month already. Haha. Oh well, just hope that i get it soon enough.

My current status for now just enjoying my holiday while my mind is stuck at my UNI coz i am still unable to apply for my transcript. Sigh. I really wanna start work soon or else my parents gonna keep pushing me to continue my study as soon as possible. Chill la mama, papa I still wanna enjoy while I am still young. You had ur shares of teenage hood. Why cant i experience mine eh?? But i really do wanna continue my studies just not sure when and where. In other words I am so LOST.

Last week was no FUN at all coz i had to say goodbye to some of my friends. I feel like im totally stuck in a pit in Malaysia and doing nothing with my life. Everybody else is moving on to their next stage of life while im here doing nothing, i mean nothing at all besides than eating, sleeping, watching movies and thats about it i think. Sigh. Allah, please give me some guidance to make sure i make the right choice.

I had to say goodbye to Bayop and Asnawi coz they are flying to UK. Sob Sob Sob... Plus, Alya already continue her studies at Perak and i cant see her like i used to and hang out with As. Aish. Teremo plak pepagi bute ni. I could'nt send them to the airport coz i am definitely not good with saying goodbye. Tak tentu psl nt pelok kaki diorg xmelepas and menanges2 sape sanggop tgk?? Hahaha. But I am sure they will be back soon. I really hope they take care of themselves there.

Alamak! i thought that this will be a brief post. Haha. Nvm then. More for u guys to read then. Hohohoho.

Anyways, I have changed the layout for my page. Do u guys like it?? Hehe. I hope i will be able to check with u guys soon enuf. TC.

XoxO